I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

- Thomas A. Edison

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

- Sir Terry Pratchett, Diggers

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

- Adrian Edmondson